Lord Grant Me This Prayer

My Father in heaven,
Remember my father's name.
Your Kingdom shunned,
your will undone,
I beseech thee peace like heaven's.
Give me today my daily strength.
Forgive me my sins,
as I fail to forgive he who sinned against me.
Lead me not into the future,
without deliverance from the past.
For the love,
the hurt and the lost are yours.
Now and for ever.

Amen.

The Lord's Prayer was something I learned from my mother, though in church we prayed individually. The Lord's Prayer was a guiding prayer; one that taught you how to pray so that when you could, you would know how to pray in your own words. I have words; an infinite number of combinations of words that do not begin to express the cataclysmic decisions I have to now, as always, face. This is my prayer. This is my lullaby. Lord grant me this prayer. 

Chasing Rainbows

Leave me be, don't you see I'm ringing roses?
Hold me close, I don't want to fall into the posies.
Give me a minute, the wave will wear off soon.
And the ash will settle, too.

Run! The bridge is falling down!
Let us dance among Fair lady's crown.
Wait for the comedown and see it through.
And hopefully the ash will settle, too.

Oh Susana please don't cry for me.
I've been to oh, so many places, realms and seas.
Don't expect liquid gold or the Cali moon
For the ash will settle soon.
I'll be chasing rainbows soon.

My Hearts on Fire

What is Love?

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are -- on fire." -- Christine, age 9

9 Things People Don't Tell You About Love

We know it's complicated, like 20 people playing twister complicated- and we don't understand it most of the time. We know it's hard work and beautiful and eventually ends up with a baby, which kills slowly the love prior to it. (jk jk I'm fucked up, I know...) But what are things one has to find out for oneself? 

1. No matter how hard you try to escape it; it ties you up...in coils of familiarity and comfort the likes of which you learn to yield to.
2. Love is everlasting, but the pain of losing that love is temporary.
3. Its a ton of work, and you can't just walk away, even when that's the easiest thing-because suddenly it isn't. 
4. There is always a reacher and a settler. 
5. Love is doomed without the stronghold of mutual understanding.
6. Love isnt all gumdrops and unicorns shitting rainbows. But the point is to get past that.
7. Love's barriers are those we impose on ourselves. Cultures and backgrounds are irrelevant.
8. Love is giving someone complete control of your emotions; to give them the power to make you the happiest, the angriest, or the saddest person to have walked on this Earth.
9. Love has no definition, and no two people love the same.

These were all taken from loved one's I have loved, pretended to love, loved and lost, and continue to love still. I find it extraordinary that love is so simple, simple in that it is the instant cure all for almost any ailment, and so complex as to bring as much sorrow and anger as any it has tried to assuage. I didn't want love. Now I'm not so sure I can live without it. So what is it really? And who are we without it?

When one is in love one begins by deceiving one's self. And one ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. -- Oscar Wilde

Anger Fills My Heart and Soul (but I have cookies)

I was angry, you will notice because my poor writing has been affected, and looked up anger poems. My what an instant relief! The first poem I found contained such rage, such unadulterated  hatred and passion that I instantly felt relief. It is titled "Anger Fills My Heart and Soul" by Jacob Hill, poor fellow. You can read it here.

Older and wiser people tell us to look on the bright side, but one has to admit, when you're in the thick of it- I mean really in front of the fan- There's no bright side to look toward. Your eyesight is covered in flying shit! What one must do, as I did today, is put yourself in someone else's position, one so horribly off the mark that you instantly repel, "I'm nowhere near that crazy! Geez this one..." I'm telling you it's the best medicine. Better than a laugh! Because then you laugh at the fact that you thought you were that mad in the first place. (Still mad but more lighthearted if you will)Anyway here is a child-style poem of a very grim nature. It's light and dark at the same time and I feel I really must set the tone (I almost always let my work speak for itself) because my writing is so off due to this ridiculous weekend that, sadly, this might not make sense to many. Enjoy? 

Mad is a funny creature.  

He knocks very lightly at your door. 

Curious fellow; a tiny light preacher.

Coming to teach you to abhor. 

Mad walks right in. 

He sits himself down. 

Caresses your yearning

and ends all sound. 

Mad confuses and entangles.

Strokes with velvet and with steel.

He kisses with pure venom.

Finds you an enticing meal.

Mad is a funny little imp.

Which can cause you such great sorrow.

When you see him out your window.

Do your best until tomorrow.

He is a funny little creature.

He will wait outside your door.

What Adam Ate

"Whether a nibble or a juicy pleasure bite, all sin's the spoiled same"

       What did Adam eat? Some argue that he ate an apple, hardly probable since apples do not originate in the land Eden was supposed to have been in. Olives are most common, though cinematically this does not produce as sexual a picture as Eve. A naked goddess herself in that she was the sole woman on Earth and so (one can argue) the archetype of womanly beauty, biting into a crunchy red apple- as red as sin itself. Can you see that with an olive? Maybe men can...I have digressed. The point is not what Adam ate, but the representation of such. 
       He took part in knowledge that was not his. "but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (NKJV 2:17) In the Reina Valera 1960 spanish versions the word knowledge is translated as ciencia or science. Man was destined to roam Eden, wild and free, with a mate "comparable to him" (comparable but not equal? More on that later). But he took part, with his free will, to eat the damned fruit and gave up eternal pleasures for the desire to know more. He chose to become as God, to open his eyes and know good and evil. 
       The question asked of me then is this; why is it bad to know good and evil? If God did not want automatons to worship him daily (who honestly would?) but instead wanted humanity to make our own choices then why would he deny us Science? Why would he deny us to know good and evil? What did we know before that? There is no neutrality. We cannot know good without knowing evil or vice versa. The only neutral haven is found in ignorance, in unknowing. How then, before the fall of man, were we not considered automatons? When God created Eve "they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed" (NKJV 2:25) Why should they have felt ashamed unless they were doing something bad? They were veiled in this cloud of ignorance that was only lifted after a cunning serpent's powerful words. "you will be like God" (NKJV 3:25)
       Made in his image, and to his likeness, but fit to ordain animals and live amongst the trees. Intellect, knowledge, science was forbidden to us. But we ate what Adam ate. As a Biology and Philosophy major, I eat what Adam ate all the time. Am I to be like Adam, ashamed to know my nakedness? Ashamed to understand that I now understand? I do not know.

I love God and trust in Him. But the more I realize the power of our intellect, the more I realize we are like Him, whether He planned it or not.

Q: Why Quippen?

This was brought up to me by a little bird. I didn't much answer until now. Too bad he won't read it for a while, if ever.

A: Why not Quippen? I am more than equipped to enable a quip with the quick flick of my pen.

That woke me up from a near sleep at 11:28pm last night. It just came to me, and I hope, answers your question and gives you a little more insight into who I am, little bird.

What Brings You Here?

You weren't invited. You were stashed among the impossible dreams and concocted stories of a childhood you and I both chose to forget. You were left to disintegrate into sands so finite they gave in to their limits and stayed. Put. And yet here you are- you weren't invited. You told me I was "out of it". I moved on. You proclaimed it was "of the essence" that I remember you. You stole my essence, my being. You altered me and molded me and though they say you "heal all wounds" you carved them into me. And now you aren't invited. You can't be "Money" no matter what they say because you were there all the while, yet what I lacked in green I made up in arduous envy. And I hated and I hurt and I begrudged you. I learned to hold grudges because of you, and maybe I'll forgive. "All in due" of you.